{Subliminal Silence}
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is, it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
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12.31.2003

In tampa having the time of my life. After trying HARD to find somewhere to hang out tonight we ended up at a bar that seemed like a run down shack, well NO. it turned out all some people from my past hung out there and the guy i had a big crush on for a few years was one of them. :)... and some guy that remebered my first adn last name and stories about me was there. ONLY i don;t know who the hell he is.
That might be funny. Apparently he went to my high school adn out of 149 people i graduated with i don;t know him and i hung out with him all the time. It is possible i smoked too much pot in my day!... well it turns out he will end up being my new years kiss. At least i have something.

12.29.2003

WHERE'S MARCI?

Who knows but I bet she won't be back for awhile.

Been busy hanging with Melanie and realizing that I am old and reading the comic books paul sent me (I love them) and falling down in dog shit (yes I really did) and packing to get the hell out of here (really need a break). So It is about 5:30am and in 20 minutes I am hitting the road and 6 hours later I will be in Tampa to spend New Years with Diana.

I feel all bad about not spending it with Mel, but I did spend Christmas with her after getting back from NC where I got kicked out of my parents house on Christmas eve (don't ask). And New Years is the only night of the year that I place drunk phone calls, so I know I will talk to her.

Oh and I am still Mrs. Robinson. This is turning out to be pretty fun. I will update if I get a chance. If not the year in review will be out on the 3rd. HOLLAH!!!!

12.24.2003

I AM SO HAPPY TO BE HOME RIGHT NOW
Who knew nothing said Merry Christmas, like ACDC? That and Christmas music was all I got on the radio the whole way home. Driving at night with slow Christian music is not what I call a good car ride.

So I am still a bit grumpy because of my time at "home" and I come online to see what is going on with everyone and Brad had some bad news for me posted. Now I am even grumpier. What no email to explain? Thanks brad. Now you have to suffer through a phone call from me tonight.

Tomorrow I will be back to "marci"... it is going to take me time to shake what has just happened the past 29 hours.

Oh and one of my Christmas gifts was a Blood Alcohol Detector. I find this to be so damn hilarious. I think my mom was trying to make a point but she doesn't realize that the words "I bet you $5 I'm drunker than you?" will escape mine and melanies mouth in just a few days.

12.23.2003

Was it Kurt Kobain who said "I hate myself and want to die"?

If so I am in trouble. I have been here 8 hours and am ready to high tail it out. I will be leaving here tomorrow. I can take no more. I do not even do religion, why the hell did i think i had to come home for a religious holiday. JEEZ I AM SO F"N STUPID.
I MADE IT!

I made it here with only one major set back. Yep, I could not get out of bed. Better things come to those who wait. is that right? I stayed in bed and waited, and all it did was put me 2 hours late, getting to my parents house.

On the way here I got all worried about Santa too. Since the country has gone on high alert (Orange) Does that mean Santa has to walk this year? I would hate to be alive the year that Santa takes a missle for the team, when he is flying through the air. And if he is walking maybe he needs help carriying everything. I guess he can take the subway and MARTA, but what about the less fortunate cities, do they not get toys. All I have to say is HA HA HA ALABAMA!

12.22.2003

BOZ is the coolest person in the world and now he has come out to the public and admitted he is my midget slave. Go ahead click it (fourth pict down) and look at the shirt I have commanded him to wear. By far the best Christmas gift a girl could get.

Today I got to dance and sing to rock'n robin with the waitress at Johnny Rockets and the entire store did not seem to mind. Gotta love the tourists. Maybe they were not tourist, but I like to think that people that smell bad in socks and sandals and shorts in December are not from here. (socks and sandals anytime is unacceptable) If that is the case I am so done drinking the water.

another thing is that I have just gotten really sad and paranoid that Santa really HAS been watching me. I was just reminded that I have actually been worse this year than any other, and that includes the year that I spent stealing candy from strangers and offering it to kids. So if Santa even glanced this way once, I am SO screwed. What if Santa not only brings me nothing but he gets me lost in the forest my parents live in and I find a gingerbread house and eat it and then some old hag tries to cook me. I am terrified of that.

Speaking of bad, one of my friends is back in Tampa and called to tell me about how she met a guy out at a club and while hooking up with him later that night she mentioned my name and the guy knew me. HOT DAMN, I have not lived in Tampa for like 8 years. Turns out I am a legend. (Or maybe he went to grade school with me) Weird all the same. So now I am going to Tampa for New Years and the only thing I asked is that I did not have to run into anyone that I knew in my past life and now it seems that plan is out the window. This really might be a doozy of a new year... but I will worry abut that after I get through this one.

Ok if I do not return by xmas night, please sent the forest ranger to find me! I will be somewhere off the blue ridge parkway by Mt Mitchell in NC.
So Melanie was supposed to be home yesterday and I called her dad and asked if she could stay and play ONE MORE DAY. He said yes, but then Melanie got in trouble, so she was supposed to go home today BUT.....

We woke up today and I have the urge to ride MARTA, so we decide that we need a day trip to The World of Coke. Who is jealous of us? SO Melanie is going to be in big trouble and it is going to be my fault. Oh well there is a good day in the horizon.

Tomorrow I go home but I will be back by Christmas. I have not been very good this year so we are going to see if Santa noticed. I have a feeling he stopped watching me in highschool and left the responsibility to a few psycho guys. (Hi teddy, steve, and paul). But I think I have finally kicked Santa's helpers so there better be a 4'8" package under the tree when I get to North Carolina tomorrow.

If I don't post again have a Great Christmas everyone. Maybe we can do a blogger gift exchange on all the gifts we get and don't want. Belle already called the Dead Woman Monkey Slippers.
Yes that is right a 22 year old. I made out with a 22 year old. I am going to own it. I thought I was just older than him but he is a junior in college. I was there once too, 6 YEARS AGO! I think it is so funny. I figure I am old enough to have a play toy, and I think I found one in the form of a cute 22 year old rock climbing boy. Just call me Mrs Robinson.

Other news, Melanie and I figured out today that we might be gross. I can't not go into this without embarrassment but trust me, it is now totally understand able the only ones that hit on us are little boys. And we also found out we have anger issues. I apparently, in my sleep, started screaming and cusing last night and she called one of my friends an asshole when he was trying to talk to me online. I don't think either of us can actually be blamed, HELL all we have heard anywhere is Christmas music and that is enough to move anyone to the breaking point.

12.20.2003

Melanie is still here and don't have much time but brad has started a blog in a feeble attempt to become like me. (who can blame him really). So I will be the first one to advertise for him. So here it is... I will be updating no later than tomorrow, and tell you all about the 22 yeart old boy I made out with.... call me mrs robinson.

12.18.2003

Free Beer Drunk Post

Macaroni and cheese is the best food in the entire world. Pretty princess hats are sexy (even if they are made of popsicle boxes). Knee high stripe socks are also sexy (that is why I own 15 pairs). My friend Brad will be here soon and that is fantastic . My friend Melanie is here and that is fantastic. We met boys tonight (all with bibical names, but that is ok). Melanie made me call THE BOY 2 times tonight, against my better judgment, but I went with it, because she convinced me, he was my counterpart (he is) (wrong move). Listening to Beck and I think a giant dildo crashing the sun is cool (Beck fans will get this). Found 3 married guys I wanted me and they wanted me too (oh yea why can't we find a new gimmick, this might be getting old, I am destined to be with a married man).

Jane says she is done with Sergio (somehow I don't believe it). And right now my friend friend Will is talking to Melanie about how since he met me he views girls differently and he has set his standards higher and I think that is awesome.... Ok bye.
FEAR

We have just realized that 2 of our college friends have just recently birthed babies. Now the weird thing is we have hung out with the people and know others that know them and we had no clue either of them were pregnant. So now I am convinced that it is possible to birth a baby without the gestation period. Last night I realized I might be fat and thought maybe today I would have a baby. nothing yet, So far so good!
I got home last night and checked my mail and PAUL had sent me a Mr. Bungle CD. Now I feel a little bad about calling him out yesterday, but I am sure it is a passing feeling. And I love the CD. And he is one of the best people out there.

Then Melanie just showed up about 15 minutes after I got home and we went and got 2 bottles of wine and movies. We realized we really screwed up when we got in the car and one of the movies was German and all subtitled. Now this is fine for movies that are GOOD, but this is not one of them. And we got How To Deal. I was all thinking I was going to get pointers on how to push the crack off on the 3rd graders in the school yard but NO, it was a shitty mandy moore movie. Someone really should have warned me. Mandy did not teach me how to deal with anything except being a loser, which I guess might be helpful in the long run.

Then we stayed up way to late arguing about the word Panty. Someone solve this debate for us. I do not think there is a singular word for panties. But Melanie thinks that if I got my leg amputated at the hip that I would have to wear "Panty" and not panties. I think I would just go without undergarments but she thinks I would have to wear half a panty. And furthermore. Where would I buy A panty? Is there a special store for amutees, if not this is my second ingenious idea of the week. (the other being flavored nonoxynol-9, for the intermission). Now I am all tired today because we really laid in bed and fought about this for about an hour. We also need to know if the word Labia is plural. It seems Melanie thinks that with a hip amputation, that you might go down to having one labi. Which might make total sense.

Tonight free beer with Melanie and it is supposed to be 27 degrees, wish us luck.

12.17.2003

HOLY CHRIST IT IS ALMOST OVER!

Did not do so well one the first exam toady. The teacher so lovingly told me that now I was "borderline a/b". Well thanks for rubbing in the fact that I did bad on the exam. I thought about lifting my shirt at that moment to see how close I could move the border to A, but I thought that might be inappropriate.

One more exam at 5, which means that if I had a midget he would be standing in the cold outside the door with a nice strong drink for me at 6:15. Or maybe if I had a boy he would do that for me as well. What the hell am I talking about MELANIE IS HOME! and surely she will have me a drink. But she is having a bad day too so maybe I need to have her a drink, now I am all confused. You see this is why I need a midget, I would make him work for Melanie on occasion too.

Ok well I need to go talk empty chair and work out this stress I seem to have.

12.16.2003

I HAVE ACHIEVED GREATNESS!
Going nuts, hate school, cried 3 times, about to commit suicide, check email before I kill myself,..... It is Brad apologizing for a drunk email last night that I actually really really enjoyed. and he says
"...I cannot wait to stay up way later than my old ass should and drink coffee all night a waho with ya. I also can't wait to drink too much with you again..."
not gonna kill myself now. Brad made me smile. (no one has done that all day, except the guy in the post below, but I laugh at peoples misfortune) and I think he is the best thing since midget corrals. (of course as it goes he is married too)
In an attempt to embarrass a fellow blogger and as a public announcement to be careful what IM window you are typing in:

I was talking to an unknown blogger about how someone had found my blog by googling me and how bad I should (but don't) feel. I said good bye and that was that ....UNTIL *insert creepy drum roll*:

Noxturne: Alas, my heart torn asunder by your absence!
Noxturne: My soul ripped in twine!
Noxturne: Twon
Noxturne: Tuon?
Noxturne: Two!

Ok now a romantic should be able to spell.
So me, being me, ignores and says something about my test to him... I figured I just didn't get it. Have you ever talked to him (this is a good assumption, it is like ...Talking to me).

Noxturne: What? What test?
Noxturne: You know what? I've been sending messages to the wrong
Noxturne: I feel all creepy now.

As you should my friend.

subliminalsilenc: i was all wondering HAHAHA
Noxturne: I feel so used. I think i'm blushing!
subliminalsilenc: i am just laughing real hard
subliminalsilenc: i do this shit all the time and feel like the biggest tool
subliminalsilenc: only when i do it i am making fun of the person i am actually talking to and then have to play it off
Noxturne: I feel like a fucking mega tool.

And you ask is he going to be mad at me for this post.

Noxturne: God, i'm so embarrassed. I don't embarrass easily either.
subliminalsilenc: oh just wait til my next post if you want embarrassment
Noxturne: Hahahahaha
Noxturne: hahahha
Noxturne: hahah
If I have to eat peanut butter crackers for one more meal I might scream. Being poor sucks ass so bad. And while I am saying what sucks:
1. Studying theories of psychology while you are what we call "unfinished business". I seems all the theories are talking about me.

2. A question on an exam about "issuses in your own life that might hinder you in practice and explain" and not being able to think of anything so having to write down "working with rape victims".

3. Ramen noodles when you open then and there is no flavor packet.

4. The fact that I don't have a midget. DAMMIT.

5. Melanie being in the same state as me and me not being able to see her til tomorrow night.
Dear Educators around the world,

When preparing students for an exam it is WRONG to say that it will be mainly multiple choice when you know that is a fat f*cking lie. When the students show up after studying for a multiple choice test, they will be upset when handed a 20 page packet of short essay questions. Considering this was an ETHICS course, I find it highly wrong about the practices of lying that you chose to use. Good bye 4.0.

F*ck off,
Marci
When the first conversation of the day goes like this, how can you help but not be in a good mood:

marci: "if it was a joke god would have put A FEW here for us to laugh at, but NO, It has to be a punishment"
B: hahaahahah
B: what about the last part where he was talking about having midget parents
B: that shit was gold
marci: the whole thing had me belly laughing
B: poor midgets
marci: oh no
marci: funny midgets you mean, they can't help but to be funny, they don't have to be poor, if they would only let people own them
B: the rest of my life, when i see a midget i will think of you. How bizarre?
marci: that is awesome
I am a Freaking Genius!

I think it is possible that kids would be more prone to practice safe sex if maybe Nonoxynl-9 came in a flavor other other than ass. What is the number to get my ideas patented?

12.15.2003

An old tradition was brought back to life today, only this time I am old. I have exams this week and in my undergrad, I spent the night before every test or exam at Waffle House. Only in the undergrad I would show up there at about 1 am and stay til about 5. So tonight I actually went at 6. I don't know that I have ever been inside a Wa Ho that early. So I proceeded to drink about 9 cups of coffee. Something I had stopped doing for reasons I could not remember. Now I remember. It is probably the migraine headache it gives me, and the 24 hours of energy it gives me. I am not the person that needs anymore energy than I normally have. So now I still have studying to do and I can not stop moving and talking sweetly to my headache. ie: "hey sweetie, if you leave me alone and let me study, I promise you can join me in bed tonight"

Another thing this rebirth of Wa Ho did, was remind me how great life was about 6 years ago. Damn we could get drunk as hell and go up to waffle and raise hell for hours and not get kicked out (well only a few times). And there was the fact that we would always squeeze 10 people in a 4 person booth. And THE BOY and I could go up there and play chess for hours, where he would win and make his king ride my knight all around the restaurant (he was not a good winner). And we could talk to the truckers about the strip clubs. And we could have loud drunken conversations about sex and occasionally another customer would jump in. And then we could rule the juke box and sing bon jovi at the top of our lungs. And I could get my married, guy friends in trouble just simply being there with them (although the wife always thought my name was Margie) AH... good times good times. No one else prob gets how good it was, but I know at least Brad does. and that makes this post worthwhile.
KIDS TODAY!

The games they play. In my day I did not have time to think about these games. What ever happened to the laid back pot smoker. This is why your kids should smoke pot. Then they would not be able to remember rules to games like these.
Everyday I sit in my car at the MARTA station and find the last song to keep in my head all day. Today, it seems I found the story of my last 3 relationships. Why did I never know that Alanis wrote me song? This is awesome, I guess she is one of my homies, and I didn't even know it. If we ever hang out I hope she has lost Dave Coulier forever, that might be the ending of our short friendship.

If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful
this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse

12.14.2003

Did you all feel the huge shift in the universe today. It happened at about 6pm eastern time. Did it mess up anyone else's destiny? My future is altered for good this time, I think. You see, I am the black sheep in the family and my sister got engaged last night. Now this is the fantastic part. The mind blowing chunk spewing part is that, I think they see her as gone now, and somehow now I am the child of choice. I don't know how to deal with this. I kinda am used to being the "delinquent they should have disowned". I am proud of how well I play this role very well, and I actually prefer it.

So I think I am going to their house Christmas Eve and I am going to announce that I am pregnant with a black man's baby and he SHOULD be out of prison by the time it is born. And that, if he does get out, it might be the situation where we need to move to Mexico real fast. I will assure them that they will get to see the child eventually. Then I will tell them that do to the fact that I am pregnat with Tito's child, I am going to try really hard to kick my crack habit, but assure them that if Whitney Huston did it so could I.

I am hoping this puts me back on the right track.
How I got My 3rd Concussion Ever:

So my dad brought me a new piece of furniture last week and in order for correct placement in my little shoebox I needed to rearrange things. So I swapped my apartment and changed around "rooms". Earlier I was still trying to figure out if I liked it or not so I decided to put it to the test.

Naturally looking at the room and deciding if it is ok is not good enough for me. So I got on the bed and started jumping to see what that view was like. It wasn't too bad, so I continued on to see if I could jump from the bed on to the couch. Yep, in theory this worked. But in reality what happened was that I was a little tired from all the bed jumping that when I took off with my big jump I did not get the air I was thinking I would (cut me some slack I am white) and while one foot made it to the cushion of the couch the other found it self stuck on the back of the couch which in turn led to my knee bending like a flamingo and my face contacting the ground at a rate faster than 9.8 meters per second squared. Now my face has hit the floor on many occasions at the rate of gravity but this time was different. It seems when accelerated, it hurts worse.

So now my question to you is..... Is it ethically wrong to tell people the rug burn on my face is from good booty? Or could I say "let's just say I was testing out the furniture" and then give them a wink?

12.13.2003

Today I wake up and realizing that I am not planning on leaving the house all day. I go outside to see what the proper attire should be for the couch today. I walk out and just as I decide to dress like Lily Munster (it is dark and dreary and cold), a shadow gets dropped on the ground and I peer up to see why, and a pack of about 5,345,209 birds fly over head. This is the point where I shriek and drop to the ground in egg position. (I learned this position in drama class, and I never thought I would ever need it, well I was wrong). I then broke egg position and started flailing my arms and legs like I was one of Hitchcock's characters. And then I realized that the shadow past, and I was laying on the sidewalk like an epileptic and the guys working on the house next door were calling the ambulance, so I stood up real fast and ran back inside.

Now I am stuck here and I can not find a Munsters outfit or a Cathy Brenner outfit, so now I am stuck wearing my Superman panties, a tiara and my dead woman monkey slippers. I have a feeling Belle is jealous of my feet right now and I guess that makes it better that I am not in the character I wanted to be.

12.12.2003

Who ever beat me up last night while I was sleeping is in SO much trouble! Can't a girl go drink free beer and not have to worry about waking up and not knowing why her whole body hurts. I would hate to think that the chicken dance was to blame for this. Or those cops that chased us. Or the pack of rabid midgets that I got into a street dance fight with. (which by the way I won by pulling out the Humpy Dance).

12.11.2003

I AM ALIVE!

My mom is infamous for sending me packages of a bush a weird stuff, so I guess since she was coming here she brought it with her. First I have been wanting fun slippers for awhile now and my mother shows up with monkey slippers. How fantastic, I expressed joy and then she says "they belonged to my friend that committed suicide and they are too big for me". NICE MOM! Now I am the owner of a dead woman's monkey slippers. I made a few comments about receiving dead woman shoes and my mother thinks I have no heart, however my father seemed pretty amused.

Then there is a strip club right at the exit of the interstate and the marquee right now says "SUPPORT BUSH". Ok I think all of us know that they are not talking about running to the poles (hahah I didn't realize how funny that was til I typed it) and voting in the next election. But my parents are a little sheltered on slang terms for vagina, so my dad (who hates Bush, George, wanted a picture of it to show that the only ones that might support bush is a strip club. I did not have the heart to inform him that they were being dirty with their sign. Maybe I should have, because it is possible that he is going to repeat this story to someone who does get it.

And just to top it off, at lunch my mom starts talking about religion, a subject that I avoid with her because we disagree on the matter. So my dad jumped on my side and we debated and then my mom informed me that he only disagrees like this when I am there. So once again I am the reason that they fight. Only they did not really fight, my dad laughed and the more upset my mom got the more humor he found. That is why my dad kicks ass.

Some notable phrases: "I really hope you don't pay too much for this place"....."I hope you carry mace with you in this neighborhood".... "Do you realize how much money in art and furniture you have in this little tiny place" (said condescendingly about how much of my dad's work I now have)

All in all, not too bad.
I could probably do this all day. Maybe because I have a god complex and I pretend they are real children, and I am ruining their fun time. That is not mean is it? The sound of them yelling is just so good.
What not to do when you are 24 part 2 (25 if you are one of the freaks that do odd numbers) and your parents are going to be here in 7 hours and you are trying really hard to impress them with how perfect and great and successful your life is:

* Don't freak out and invite too many people over to drink with you, and keep you company
* Don't get into a drinking game where you are the only girl
* In said drinking game, try not to get a rule made that you have to drink 2 drinks every time you laugh (especially when you laugh too much even when you are sober)
* Don't think that it is ok to leave 24 beer bottles laying around your apartment, in hopes you will wake up in time to throw them all away before your parents will be here by 9am.
* Don't place a call to THE BOY earlier in the day, only to have him call you back (we all know what this COULD lead to)
* Don't take 3 shots of tequila after everyone leaves in hopes it will make you sleep better, simply because you think it will relive anxiety.

What TO do:
*get on the phone with your Best good friend who has known you and your parents since you were sliding on the playground together and have them talk to you for 2 hours in the middle of the night to help you take your mind off things (when she originally called about her problems but was ok with you freaking out about yours)
* Do tell racial jokes to your black friend who roles his eyes at you but laughs deep down.
* Do decide that it is ok to role with the punches, and by punches I mean the worst verbal slurs, tomorrow and remember that no matter how bad it is.... there is always, free beer tomorrow night to cheer me up, Melanie home on the 17th, Brad for Lord of the Rings, and Diana for New Years in Tampa (Yep I said it, in TAMPA, Marci is going back in time and already planning the best trip to childhood ever), and maybe a scandalous affair here and there between various events. Yea, it turns out i have more to look forward to than i do to dread.
* Do find a midget to own. (ok so maybe I did not do this tonight, but hell if i mention it enough someone is bound to buy me one for christmas. (hint hint)

12.10.2003

BAD MARCI
I just something SO bad. This is what happens when I freak out. See some people place drunk phone calls, but I place freak out phone calls. Sure it is not like I blew up anything or ran over the old lady that is always dressed just like me when i see her, or burn Haley Joel osmound at the stake, but give me to the end of the day and we will see what else I can do.
My parents will be here tomorrow. They have not seen anywhere that I have lived since I was 17 (8 years ago) when they helped me carry things into my new dorm room. Granted I now live in the best looking place I have lived in since then, but I know they are not going to think it is good enough, and they never saw the shit holes I have lived in to compare this to. I am trying to get ready for the comments I might have coming to me, but that is just making me feel even sicker.

Here is what I expect: And my planned response.
"You live in the ghetto and this is unsafe". Yea maybe but Row Row on the corner sells the best crack in town.
"Your apartment is so small, we always knew you would be the daughter that couldn't take care of herself". Hey it is technically bigger than a shoebox.
"Maybe you need to start exercising, you gained weight". Atlanta is weird that way, gravity works more here, so I weigh more, and besides I never eat, I only drink alcohol.
"You really should wear makeup and then you wouldn't look so bad". It must be these genes i am working with.
"Looking around here I hope you know realize that going back to school was a huge mistake". Yea but in 4 years when I am making 80k, I might not see the mistake.
"Your sister is doing great". I have talked to her and know how much she hates her job.
"You should try to dress nicer, and then maybe a boy would be attracted to you". Oh boys?... I gave up.
"Your car is filthy, why can't you take of your things". Bert is just like a kid, he loves mud pies.
"You have no food in the fridge, only beer and wine, I knew you were going to be an alcoholic". I am getting my proteins, calories and fluids all at once.

That is just a sample. Ok so they will only be here for about 2 hours or so, but I might be freaking out. Maybe it will be better than this but I think it would really help if someone would come drink a bottle of wine with me tonight. Oh yea and bring a midget I could laugh at, and maybe trivial pusuit. Yea, midgets wine and trivial pursuit, that is exactly what i need.
There might be some copyright infringement in here somewhere, BUT this is the best email I have received in a long time and it has helpful hawaii vaca info for you... so I will share it. This is my LOR partner, that moved to Alaska, who apparently is spending some time in Hawaii right now. I have taken it upon my self to bold out the exciting news.

Guess what occurred to me last night as I was fighting the vacation urge? We could just possible set up a time to see the lord of the rings!. Guess what else has occurred to me in the past couple of days. There is a giant tourism conspiracy. For instance, take just a second or two and think about Hawaii. If you're anything like me, I see beautiful, half-naked people everywhere, nothing but sunshine and everybody walking in flip flops to where ever it is they're going. Not so! It's exactly the opposite. It hasn't stopped raining ...the people are neither half-naked or beautiful (most of them anyway) and every single person owns three cars and drives all three to work at the same time resulting in traffic that is like all of Atlanta compressed into 14 miles of road. I do however have a lovely view of the side of a building and a roof of another. Woo Hoo! Those travel agency bastards and their affective propaganda! ....

Back to the more exciting news, I will be coming to Atlanta, barring some horrible accident that leaves either me, the army, or the airline industry in ruins. My forms are signed, hotel booked and plane tickets purchased.

While I'm thinking about it, shame on you for pissing of the pigmy that works your refridgerator light. That's what you get for only storing beer and mayo in there. You need to keep ketchup in there just for him. It's his sustinance!

Anyway, as you can tell I'm bored, but I'm going go ahead and wrap this up so I can get to sitting on my ass watching tv 'cause I'm too damn poor to do anything else.


OMG MY FRIEND BRAD IS COMING HERE AND WE GET TO SEE THE LAST LOR TOGETHER AND I CAN NOT THINK OF ONE THING THAT MAKES ME HAPPIER. (Well ok maybe one. It could have said "I am moving back and living in your apartment complex and we will continue a tradition of drinking way too much all the time and doing stupid things and then going for walks", but a girl can only ask for so much)

12.09.2003

i was just walking in down town atlanta and as you can imagine the air does not normally smell good, but i hit this pocket of air that smelled absolutely delectable, and i stood for a minute and tried to figure out what it was. Then I realized that last time the ocean felt nice and warm in a spot, i was swimming in pee, so I ran as fast as I could and yelled to everyone on the street not to walk on these two squares of sidewalk for fear of poisoning. So if this is my last post ever it is becuase there are no roses here so i had to take time to smell poison. Or becuase i was arrested for making terroistic threats.
What exactly is it that makes mayonnaise separate into oil and nasty looking chunky white stuff. Is it Karma? Have I done something to piss the mayonnaise gods off. Or have I done something to piss of that little jack ass that turns the light on in the fridge, and he felt the need to ruin the only thing I have I my fridge. Or did the person that keeps breaking in ever day to throw things around and make my place messy as hell take a leak in it?

12.08.2003

Today I think graduate school took a turn for the worse. The main topic in class (the one where they usually cry), for about 15 minutes, was dog rectal glands, and juices. I mean come on people... are you really here to waste my time? That is the real reason all you were born isn't it.
From that topic the class decided to jump on me. Yes now I know what Melanie goes through every day. They think I am single because it is my fault. I simply don't want a man with kids, is that so freaking bad? Well I guess it is because one woman married a guy with 4 kids and lived happily ever after. I should of asked her how that child support payment was going. Then they seriously told me to online date. I was not asking their opinion but they all turned on me all at once.

I said I wanted a man with good teeth, and they said "honey you ain't gonna get that here"
I said I wanted a man that is not married or divorced they said "my man was divorced and we are happy"... I need to email her in 10 years and see if he was able to hold that relationship together. I think I know the answer.
I said I want an educated man, they said "Oh they are all already married".

THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT GUYS, NOW BACK OFF
Ok so I was going to leave him a comment with it, but I decided to take it a step further and post it.

This is stolen from Paul
Take a band and answer questions using only song titles.
BAND: Ani Difranco
1. Are you male or female?: "I am 32 flavors (and then some)"
2. Describe yourself: "Joyous Girl"
3. How do some people feel about you?: "Shameless"
4. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: "Heart Break Even" or "the true story of what was"
5. How do you feel about yourself?: "Out of Range "
6. Where would you rather be?: "Every State line"
8. Describe how you live: "Here For Now" or "Evolve"
9. Describe how you love: "What if no one is watching"
10. Share a few words of wisdom: "Rock Paper Scissors"
So I was all done with the new boy, he made a few comments that really disturbed me. Well not so much, but they were along the lines of him being way to "Good boy" for me. And he said that he told his mom he met a girl and that she is all excited I am Catholic. WHOA HOLD UP THERE SPEEDY. First I went on 2 dates with you and you are telling mom, can we say "mamma's boy" and I AM NOT CATHOLIC AND THAT IS A VERY MEAN VICIOUS RUMOR TO BE SPREADING. I went to catholic school that is all, and maybe I was raised that way, but I am by no means catholic anymore. So all these little things really freaked me out.

But I have given it some thought and and I realized that I am too old to hold out for what I want any longer. I think I am at the age where I need to learn to settle. As long as I don't have to tell his mom, "No I am sorry I can not go to mass with you because I plan on burning in hell", I think it might work out. And there is the issue where he told me he "doesn't associate with the type of girl that would own a vibrator". (whew, man that is harsh) I think I have my work cut out with me on this one.


Ok and one more thing..... and you know who you are....

If you are sick of talking to me on the phone, tell me... There is no need to say "ok well I am going to go masturbate right now and I am not sure we need to be on the phone for this".

12.06.2003

OH NO! Diana is a damn klutz!


No broken bones, but man that looked painful!


It is true that you should never miss a point and laugh opportunity!


Diana tries to explain that this type of thing is normal and I am missing out on something.


Even though I point and laugh, she still loves me.



Other good pictures to be found in the link conveniently marked, Picts. But they all wont be there til tomorrow



Last night before going out I talked to Melanie and told her I was going to Ted's Montana Grill. I swear Ted Turner might own the world if someone would let him. Anyway she told me that when I got there I had to say "MMM... Bison Meat" at some point. So true to the dare when we sat down the waiter came over and started trying to sell tea bison burger and I said it. Then I started laughing and would not explain my fit of laughter, I guess this might have been strange to the guy, oh well, I have no shame.

As Paul pointed out, the Thrasher kicked the Mighty Ducks ass last night. What do you expect out of a team named by Disney. I was all disappointed there was only one fight and it was in the first 5 minutes of the game.

Then true to my luck, we went to a bar to play some pool and when my escort went to the bathroom, a guy walked in and sat down with me. OH GOOD GOD! It was the guy with the Harry potter glasses that I stood up about 3 weeks ago. So he is all trying to talk to me and the escort comes back and gets all territorial, but played it cool for a bit. So Harry challenged escort to a game of pool, and the stupid boy ridiculousness started. My escort was very low key about it all for a good while, and when he got beat BADLY, I tried to pretend that I had no clue what was going on. So Harry kept trying to get me to talk to him, but I do have manners and if I am somewhere with a guy, I am not about to ditch him to talk to another guy, unless it is will ferrell. The last straw was when Harry asked me to do a shot with him and I said no, then escort says "lets do a shot". So all the testosterone stupidness needed to come to an end, so of course I took the shot and then we left.

Then one last hurdle to over come. He pulled the whole "would you mind if i used your bathroom"..... Now guys I need to explain to you that this is the oldest trick and us girls are onto your game. Anyway he came in and then I said "well ok goodnight" and i went to give him a hug and he might have snuck in a bit of a kiss. Ok so maybe 5 minutes of a kiss. Maybe not, I might be a liar. you can decide. Anyway he was in love with me and called 4 minutes after leaving to confim what i already knew. "Marci I had the best time with you and think you are cool as hell".

Now here is the kicker. He had talked about his friends he ws hanging out with tonight and some how he just called and wants to go eat wings tonight. I said yes, when i should have said no. I don't think i am all that cool with some one breaking plans with friends for me. So I guess I am going out with him again tonight.

The poor boy is so nice. This is probably the number one thing he has working against him. There are more (he is a drummer) but you all have seen the list and unless you are madmathias, you understand that it is a hard list to live up to. And the fact that my mother would love him, speaks volumes.

12.05.2003

What is it about sitting at home alone all day, that makes me want to play with legos SO BAD?

Tonight I get a free dinner. I am not going to call it a date. I am going to call it a free dinner, and a hockey game. And just so I can pretend I know what is going on I went and looked up the Thrashers on the net and found out they are playing the mighty ducks, and from what I remember of games in Tampa, I think they fight quite a bit and that is all that matters to me. And after the game there is a concert. I really hope I like this guy because the events presented for the night are fantastic. And if not, I will occupy myself by quoting the movie Black Widow to make sure he doesn't like me either.

12.04.2003

SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME

I do not have social anxiety, however, one of my armpits does. Yep only one.
I was just getting ready to post an add for a new attitude, when I received the best news. You see today has sucked big time, because I have been in a bad mood since I woke up, and this is incredibly abnormal for me. And when I wake up in a bad mood, certain people get on my nerves and I get all mad and sensitive for no reason. Well that bad mood is over now!

All day I have been upset because it is about 300 degrees below zero, (all you northerners shut up... it really is cold as hell here, and it makes me grumpy) and it is raining and as you should all know by now it is free beer night and I was convinced I could not handle standing outside for 2 hours in the cold. BUT GUESS WHAT. It is INSIDE the brewery tonight so I can go!!!!!!

All you Atlanta Bloggers meet me at the dogwood brewery at 5:30, I am going to raise havoc amongst the hops, and i might follow melanie's lead from a few weeks ago and steal the really good beer from the back.

12.03.2003

Is a date where a boy calls you and asks you out and you say yes, and then he comes and picks you up and you go out together for a night of shared fun?

It has been so long since I have had a date that I might not know what it is. But if that is what it is I have a date Friday. As in a boy called and asked me out and I did not give him one of my infamous excuses and I actually said yes. AND to top it off we are going to a hockey game. He said we could do whatever I wanted and that there was a hockey game, and I do not think he realized how much I love going to hokey games so I jumped on it.

Last time I went to a Hockey game, Melanie and I decided last minute to drive the hour to it, and then we went out and the last thing I remember was a strip club and then I woke up 45 minutes away from where Melanie woke up. There is no real explanation for this. Let's hope the date goes better than that.
Class was interesting enough today where I did not have to get up and scream.... I did however make a spectacle of myself with outlet witty comments thorough out it, so I feel that was just as distracting. And today I got to go the Hanger Corp. and tour. They make prosthetic limbs, and the whole time I was looking at them I was thinking of how cool it would be to hit Melanie with one of them. Ok so I am not REALLY mean, I would probably not hit her hard with the titanium ones, but the ones that were dressed in skin I think game would be on with those.

There was a man with a prosthetic leg there talking to us and he wanted to show us how cool his leg was, but it has a mini computer in it that does all this kick ass stuff, but while he was waiting for us he was cleaning the lint out of it with a pin and shorted it out. So we were not able to see it perform stair walking or ramp walking. I nicely told the man that next time he needed to leave the lint alone.
Ob-La-Di-Ob-La

I am off to class for the last time on Wednesday and I think today I will do what I have been yearning to do since the beginning of the semester.

Yep I will wait til 30 minutes into class, and then I am going to stand and scream at the top of my lungs and then grab my bag and leisurely walk out.

And the dangerous part is that I am in a great mood and I really might end up doing this.

12.02.2003

I just got home from class, and some one has come into my apartment and made a HUGE mess. There are clothes and towels and cups and paper everywhere. There is so much crap on the bathroom floor I can not get in there. AND to top that off I opened the fridge and all that is in there is beer and wine. So the culprit also ate the tons and tons of food and drinks that I always keep on hand, for times like these when I get home and am starving. It seems like this type of thing happens every day. Why won't they ever take the Beer and Ramen noodles? that stuff seems to always be here.

Ramen for dinner again. Life is beginning to suck.

Maybe someone will break in tomorrow and clean this place up and leave groceries.
Did Boz stop stalking anyone else, or is it just me?

I was up til 4:30 writing papers last night and then this woman that I can not stand starts talking to me. The first thing I say to her is "I am all grumpy because I was up writing those papers all night."

That is all I should have had to said right? NO... the bitch continued to corner me and try to talk about her life and I could really care less about it. So I pick up my book and start reading while she is mid sentence. Doesn't work. So I pick up my phone and send a text message and I make it as long as I can so she will think that I am busy. Doesn't work. So I get up and got o the bathroom. GUESS WHAT! The bitch followed me. I could feel my blood boiling I swear. I did not know what it is about this woman, but I seriously think she could send someone over the edge. Well I need to go, my break is only so long and I need to make and print out a memo for her in tonights class.

How does this sound:

Hey Bitch I am not your best friend, nor and I you friend. The fact that you are an acquaintance makes me want to rip out my eardrums. From this moment forward do not speak in my direction unless it is to tell me there is a gun pointed at my head and I need to run. On second thought, I might rather be shot than hear your raspy white trash voice again. DEAL?
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Other than that in am in a great mood now, and it might be because of Paul. He sent me a happy email this morning and don't tell him I told you but he used the word love about 2,356 times in the email. I think he may have fallen in love with me. Stronger men have tried to fight it and they failed. (or maybe he is just gay and likes using those "lovely" words.) you can decide. :)

12.01.2003

Note to self:

Next time you have the best weekend ever, try to get your 5 papers done before the weekend starts. And if you don't proceed with caution next time and are stuck here once again trying desperately to research and write 5 papers in one night, know that your neighbors probably hate you because the screaming is not so effective and maybe even distracting. Also, throwing things has proven to be not so helpful either and you are going to have to clean that up tomorrow. Oh yea and the crying, what the hell is that about. Oh one more thing, the random fits of laughter.. Yea those are not going to get these papers done any faster either. Yes it is true you look like a SNL skit right now but we have no time to dwell on this. OH yea, why the hell are you typing on the DAMN BLOG. And when you get 2 papers complete next time, try not to spill an entire glass of Orange Juice on them. AND WHY IS MY PHONE BEEPING SO MUCH. IF I HAVE NOT REPLIED TO YOUR TEXT MESSAGE BY NOW, YOU ARE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO GET A REPLY TONIGHT! BACK OFF!

Hey Marci, just one more small thing..... Take the tiara off and stop singing Stevie Wonder, sit down and do your homework.
I am more sad than was to be expected. The scene that just played out at the airport was quite funny from an onlookers perspective. Diana and I hugging and crying and fighting about who gets to keep the Pop Rocks, and a cop flashing his lights at me to move my car. Truly a fantastic scene.

It is so strange. I have never had home sickness, and maybe that is because I have not really had a home to be sick for before. But some how I think saying good bye to Diana I got home sick for the first time ever in my life. Not necessarily for a home but for our childhood.

Oh and Diana told me I was heartless and that she didn't rember me being quite that heartless in High school. NICE. I would be offended by it, but she seemed to be jealous of it so I smiled and said "thankyou".

Anyway Pictures will be posted in a day or two. To add some suspense: there are pictures of us in hand cuffs, with guns (yes real ones), might be one of us kissing (OH NO) and there is definitely a pictorial story of the greatest part of the weekend (A with that I mean the Fall Diana took).

Update on Boy:
We are hanging out tomorrow or Wednesday! And for all you guys that keep saying "WOW GIRLS LIKE GEEKY GUYS?" ..... yes I do. I love slightly doofy geeky guys. It always makes the first kiss so incredibly awkward and that is the best thing in the world.