{Subliminal Silence}
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is, it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
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VH1's Motormouth might be my new favorite show, however, I am so horrified at the thought that Melanie is going to hook my car up with cameras and I am going to be on tv telling myself jokes and stories and singing and dancing and changing the words to songs. That can't happen right?
Tonight's conversation:
Me: What was that noise?
Mel: Dude I think the world just ended?
Me: Man let's go to Kroger and eat and drink all night?
Mel: If the world ended and we were the only people left maybe that would be cool.
Me: But wait, if we were the only ones left, there would be noone to run the rides for us at Six Flags, So we need to save a midget.
Mel: Dude you're right, and they can carry things!
Me: And what they can't carry we can throw on its back like it is mule, they are a bit hunched anyway.
Mel: I don't know but I am pretty sure you going to hell for that one.



When your stuck in traffic on the between work and school and you here the traffic report.... It really sucks that the report is 8 minutes long. I tried to count the accidents today when I realized the report was so long and I think there were at least 14 at 4:30.

Dear Atlanta Traffic,

Nothing but love!




Yesterday I came home from work to find Deuce on my couch saying:



How horrible to have Alzhiemer's, AND to wander away from home, AND to do it while wearing a denim dress and old tennis shoes. This is why you should always dress like someone might see you.

AND I feel really bad about Castro falling, but I will admit i can't stop giggling.


TMI at it's best....

today I thought I had crabs... turns out I just needed to shave.

I just asked what day it was and someone said "Monday" and I actually argued that it wasn't. How is it possible that I don't feel like I even had a weekend and now I still have 4 more days to go til I have another. THAT BLOWS!

Anyway, I was sitting and talking to Archibald (My desk Gnome)(Background story in archives 3.15.2004) last night, I ran out of Mrs. Butterworth, and he claims that he stays lonely now that I am never home to hang out anymore. I think he misses baking cookies and jumping on the bed the most. We talked about it and I agreed to leave him in the fridge during the day, so he can hang out with the light troll. Only today I came home (for my 2 second wardrobe change) and he was all bitching that it was too cold for him so I kicked him out. Not really but I put him on the porch so he could think about complaining to me when I am busy.


What is heaven?

Seeing 2 El Caminos racing past you and then noticing that both the drivers had mullets.

What is Hell?

Realizing you were in the car alone.

* to get this you need to be a reader of both me and Melanie's site, but to break it down, a El Camino is worth a slap, BUT if a mullet drives it, it is worth a punch to the face
Guess what else...
I talked to the Director of the place I work today and it turns out he loves me as much as my old boss made me believe he did. We had a long heart to heart about how awesome he thinks I am, you know what that means?..... That means that in May I might have myself a nice little job that I LOVE!!!!

Today is a good day and there is still free beer to be had, who's meeting me at Sweetwater at 4:20?


Dear client,

I swear to god the next time you get mad in group and run out crying and cusing me out, if you pick up a stapler and hurl it at my face as you did today, I just might knock out the 2 teeth you have left. You know it is fall and I should only be sporting browns and forest greens, but now my face is a light blue and that is totally a spring color. You now have me too embarrassed to show my face.

One more thing, I am petitioning to be able to give out grades so that I can fail you for the hell of it since the group was "anger management".




It is fall and it feels good and it is time to open the windows. In GA everyone does this on the same day apparently.

I like open windows because:
~ I get to lay in bed and have the cool breeze surround me while I sleep
~ I get to hear my neighbors fight
~ I know exactly when to look for the guy to make his angry exit and slam door
~ I know why angry guy slammed door

I don't like open windows because:
~ I swear I heard my next door neighbor say, "Oh that, that is just my neighbor. She masturbates a lot, you get used to it"



I was surprised today. I thought that there were not many things that a client could say that would utterly shock me, but today I was wrong. I won't go into it, but it has to do with a certain practice of what he does to certain parts of his body while he is high on crack. The word "OW!" and "Ochy" come to mind. The lesson I learned from this is that when a client starts out with, "it is kinda hard talking to a female about this...." maybe I should get him a male counselor.
And can someone explain to me why everywhere I go I feel like I am Dorothy walking into the poppies. I literally have almost fallen asleep every where I have gone today. I need to get this problem taken care of in the next 20 days, since madmathias will be here and I would feel horrible if I only showed him the cool places to sleep in Atlanta. Maybe the cool places to "sleep", would be fine with him, but I doubt he would think I was al that cool if I just passed out every few minutes.


While searching my newly found, hidden Adult archive of porn on google, I found a gallery for "Smoking Fetish". Needing to know what that was I clicked and found that for a fee I could "watch live girls smoking". This is so wrong on so many levels. Are people really so caught up in internet porn that they don't realize they can see it for free anytime if only they would LEAVE THEIR MOM'S BASEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I was alone at the place I work and I could not get into my office due to the fact that they have still not given me a key, so I was unable to get any of the files on the new people I was intaking. I was just chilling with them and waiting for someone to get there with a key. I drug tested them all and put some food out for them and had a long conversation with a guy about how nervous he was. I eased his mind and made him a bit more comfortable. Finally someone showed up with the key and I got all my stuff and proceeded to round them up to do paperwork. The guy I had spoken with was sleeping and I woke him up and ran down the hall and on my way back he was, what looked like, sleep walking. I though this was a little strange since he ran me over and did not even stop. He entered an office and sat down. I walked in and put my hand on his shoulder and asked if he was "ready to knock out the paper work". He looked up and his eyes were glazed and I noticed that he was drooling down him chin. JUST FUCKING GREAT!!!!!!! How you gonna try to go into a coma when I am the only one there?!?!?!? So I leaned down and tried to find out what was happening. I looked at his chart and he was on a benzo, so my first thought was SHIT he took them all. I asked him if he took his medicine today and he grunted. I looked in his bag and the bottle was empty. He was supposed to have a week supply. So I go to the phone to call the supervisor and tell her, and she doesn't answer. So I run back to check on him and he is standing at the wall trying to open a door that isn't there. I tell him that that door is locked and if he sits down I will go find the key. (Find the key= call 911). So I call and this is the point where all the other clients are showing up for group. Of course they all want to fight about stuff that happened last night while asking "what's wrong with the crack head". I corralled them all in the group room and the ambulance showed up WITH A FIRE TRUCK! why do they need a fire truck. I give them all his info and they are upset I have no address on him. I tried to explain that we are a facility for HOMELESS addicts, but I think he thought I was lying. Anyway, I have now deal with my first delusional, OD. I can put that on a resume cant I?

Oh and in the middle of it, I kicked a girl out of the program for getting on my nerves.
All in a days work. How was your day?



I went out for "A BEER" last night and this would have worked if I had been hanging out with the normal crew, but no it was just Duece and I, and we can't help but to meet people. We sat and fought for awhile over who gets to die first when we started talking to a couple. This was our goal in the first place, to meet a couple so we both could hit on someone and still be together, and it turned into us hanging out until 2:30. Even though when we left, his exact words were "Baby Girl, we will be home no later than 12:30". I think that means I get to die first since he lied to me. Anyway, the night actually ended up with the guy getting a pen FROM his girlfriend so he could get my number.

So now I am sitting here at work trying my best to stay away from the addicts, because they will KNOW that I am still drunk. WHY the hell am I still drunk?!? Thank goodness I didn't get a DUI on the way to work.


This new job kept me so busy today that I got there at 9 and then I looked at the clock and it was 2 and time to go. I think I just got hired to work in the space time continuum. THAT MIGHT RULE!

And man, the rehab community is worse than highschool. I already got a congratuations email from a professor who heard I got hired. I hope that doesn't mean when I get caught having sexual relations with clients drinking beer only on the weekends that the news is going to travel that fast.



I got Birthday presents yesterday.... The awesome Paul (THANKS PAUL, YOU ARE THE Mo' Fkn BOMB!!!) sent me a book I have wanted for a long time. Anybook that starts with:

"It should be everyone's fault, because it's everyone's problem. Well okay.... Not everyone. Not boring people, and not the profoundly retarded. But whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship the perceive to be a normalpart of living. And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one for this or blaming everyone, I'm going to blame John Cusack."
"poor Brian Krakow, who never got any play, even though Jordan Catalano couldn't even fucking read"
-Chuck Klosterman

I also got 2 books from someone else I don't think I am allowed to mention and that is awesome too... AND then I get the news that Lurker boy has bought all my Priority 1 books and I will be getting the rest of them soon. BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will be sitting at home reading for quite awhile soon, since most of these books I have wanted for 2-3 years and I will finally have them ALL!