The things that made me happy this year were:
moving to Atlanta. She's a keeper, you all should run out and buy one.
and mine one year anniversary which also happened to fall right at both of our birthdays. You all should go buy of of him too.
~ My trip to New Orleans for Thanksgiving where I realized that the Hurricane was NOT my friend
~ My job
. If only everyone could get beat up and screamed at at work and STILL love their job, the world would be such a happier place.
~ Lurker Boy
and mine trip to Athens for a drunken walk around town
~ THE BOY
coming clean, and trying to find the difference between reality and fantasy.
~ Archibald entering my life. That garden gnome is a companion like no other. Props to Kristin for bring him into my life.
~ The fact that Vibrators
can be replaced when the motor is blown.
few trips to Atlanta, which always remind me of how much I am actually capable of drinking.
~ The fact that rug burns will go away eventual.
~ The way THE BOY will smile after kissing me .....and then abrutly punch me.
and mine "baby jokes" that happen once a month every month and freak others out when we rub our belly and say "My baby is upset" while drinking beer.
. Without it I would not have made those 3, 5 stared falls.
*** See you all at Leopard Lounge tonight, I will be the one with the silver and green tiara trying not to vomit in the bar like last year.****
*** and Happy last day of Kwanaza for all my Bro's out there***
I would explain where I have been lately but the 3 people that read this site realize that I have just been busy curing the world of drug addicts and looking for midgets. Jesus day was good and I ended up getting back to Atlanta Xmas afternoon in time to go drinking with my real family, Mel and deuce. I was unable to score anything from my dad due to the fact that anything he had set aside for me, he did so by leaving it on the ground while the place flooded.... no one need warped art. That was upsetting.
I think it turned out that I have given THE BOY one more chance and he fully understands that he has used up all his "nice Marci" cards so he has been on best behavior, so far. Well, see..... I guess with everything moving forward I need to keep the one circular thing in my life.
I think I am close to getting hired on with a REAL salary at work and I am trying to sneak my way into a good position, that i want REALLY bad. I think it is working that all the addicts like me so much that they had a 1 hour community this weekend and only talked about how much they all liked me. At least I have won some people over, even if they are addicts.
That is about all..... Maybe I will get drunk at Sweetwater and have a better story later.
Tomorrow is Leopard Lounge, for any Atlanta people that want to hang out.... $30 open bar and food. If you show up I might be a New Years whore and give you a kiss.
WHEN I TELL YOU TO "LEAVE ME ALONE FOREVER".....
Appparently what I really mean, is "Sweet talk me back into your life, and i will fall for it every single time".
Yep, that is how it went with THE BOY, when I finally got sick of "the game" and he called and I was finally done with it after, what 6.5 fucking years
. So he didn't like that answer and decided to confess a bunch of stuff that would make pinocchio look like he had no nose at all. These confessions are actually causing a problem for me, since I am torn in the senario that "he told me, so that is good right", or "is he a psycho". I have no clue which it is. This year, I will ask Santa for a CLUE.
I get woken up from my sleep from the phone ringing and it is my mom.... 6 days before Christmas, and my Grandpa is in the hospital. This kinda sucks since he is the one person in the family that I kinda think I can communicate with, even though he is hard of hearing and sometimes loses train of thought, but if you have been reading my site for awhile then you know that is my style anyway. I guess this year I am not going to be able to sneak to the garage with him to have a few drinks. Do you think I can sneak some whiskey into the hospital room?
My dad has an old, huge table saw that he doesn't use anymore due to a brand new shiney one he got. This should technically be mine one day when I have a life and home since I am the one that grew up using it and working 9 years with my father, and my mom wants to give it to the Brother in law. I talk some stuff about my mom but she actually called me and asked me if it was ok to give to him. She got upset when I said it was fine as long as he gave it back if they ever got divorced. Is that such a bitchy thing to ask? You might not know but my dad is a artistic genius with wood, but he is. So I settled the conversation by saying he could have it if I can rummage my dad's shop while I am home and take what I can fit in my car to decorate my new apartment with. I TOTALLY SCORED! I don't think they got me much for Christmas and I am coming home with a few thousand dollars of my dad's work.
GO ON AND COVET ME!
Tell me you are jealous, it's ok. I found a place in midtown atl, 1,175 square feet for less than $800 a month.
So for all you out there that like to stalk me, I am letting you know that as of Jan. 15th you need to start all over. Oh but now you have to be carefull of the big bad roomate.
OK now i have to get back to stealing Ben Harper and Robert Randulph music online, becuase
I am too cheap
I am too poor to buy my dad a Jesus Day present, so a home burned CD of music will have to be good enough. (I AM THE BEST DAUGHTER EVER!!!)
LOOKS LIKE I AM A BIT
That's ok right?
WORSE BETTER THAN THE FUZZY ONE.
I am not having a bastard child!!!!
I ask that my friends join my reality sometimes when I stray off, and since Melanie has been doing this for so long she sometimes gets caught up and doesn't even know that it is happening. So for the past few days I somehow convinced myself that I was knocked up, with child, carrying a demon child, killing myself ect..... Well Melanie somehow convinced herself that she was also carrying a demon child (I think maybe she just wants to be me). For the past few days the only thing we have talked about is our babies: ie.
.... "Did you just fart?" "no that was my baby"
.... "If you have a boy, and I have a girl, can we trade, I really hate girls?"
.... "My baby hated that meal you just cooked and now I have to vomit, THANKS A LOT"
.... "You are a whore" "MY BABY CAN HEAR YOU!!!"
"My baby" jokes have gotten really funny, and yet incredibly disturbing at times..... but now my jokes are over and Melanie is all pissed at me....
I am SO excited, my baby just spontaneously aborted
OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY
Now I have to give birth alone
**** Looking back on the jokes, I think it is even better we both can convince ourselves that since it is Jesus season, that we can have baby's even when... Well... Let's just say the Virgin Mary got more action than we have been getting.****
Best Conversation of the Weekend Award Goes To:
Butts are weird.
Yea for real, if I didn't know everyone had one, I would be SO
embarrassed about mine.
DOES THIS MAKE ME A WHORE?
MELANIE AND I NEED TO QUIT DRINKING
Melanie got some film developed yesterday, and besides the fact that there is a picture of us in a bar that neither of us recognize and swear we have never been too, there is a picture of Melanie making out with a guy I might have been dating at the time of the photo, there was a random picture of my breast that I have no clue how or when it was taken, and a random picture of an el Camino..... There was also this picture:
I saw it and said "Who the hell is this?". Melanie replied..."Dude I think that is that French guy you took home and made out with on your B-Day" .....
Um... Oops! Well even if that is who it is, at least he wasn't THAT bad looking, even though the only thing I remeber about him is the fact that I got all disgusted that he was wearing red bikini briefs.
I just checked my mail and it turns out my title on this post is void on both accounts......
I got a Christmas card from my friend Kristin, and it says "Hope you get drunk more next year than this year and I hope you can further supress any of the values taught to us in our Catholic upbringing". Since Kristin is the voice in my head, I have to take her advice.
A FEW TRUTHS ABOUT LIVING IN ATLANTA:
~ If you meet a guy 9 times out of 10 he is going to be employed in the computer world.
~ If you are nice to a guy he is going to think you are flirting with him and then try to make out with you outside the bar bathroom
~ You will rarely (if ever) meet someone that was actually born in Atlanta.
~ If you know someone who is visiting Atlanta, be ready to help them move here within a few months.
~ If you leave for work in the morning and you see the traffic helicopter over the road in front of you, kick your shoes off and get ready to catch up on some sleep. (this caught me this morning)
~ You need to learn your traffic window. You can leave home 30 minutes early and be an hour late, or you can leave 5 minutes later and be 30 minutes early. Very important to figure this out. People say we have horrible traffic here, but really it is just idiots that don't know their window.
~ You can find free beer 5 nights a week if you are dedicated to the cause.
~ You will see me at 3 of those if you figure it out.
~ You can also find "open bars" almost every weekend, meaning you weekend of fun can cost less than $5 if you want it to.
~ Gas prices will never be the same from one day to the next. (FYI: gas is $1.65 on Memorial Dr. Hurry that will change by the time I finish typing this)
~ If you don't like the weather, take a nap. It will be suitable to your taste when you wake up. It is December and 60 degrees.... How awesome is that!
~ You will need a tire alignment every 3 months since the city feels putting metal plates on top of pot holes is a suitable way to fix the problem.
Drunk driving is what I like to do.I like drunk driving with you.
When you are getting a ride home from the bar and you make a joke:
"Dude, why are those center lines swerving all over the place"
It does not make you feel all that safe for the driver to say:
"Holy shit, you see that too, I thought I was seeing things"
Schools out and on my final, I knew I had an A in the class so by the time I got to the last essay I was over it and wanted to go home, so I just drew a smiley face across the whole page and handed it in. I really hope the last essay was not worth 50% of the class.
Am I the first person in the world......
Too cut my finger off trying to put peanut butter in a pita with scissors?
Not that I actually did something THAT stupid.
Melanie has this one black shirt that will disappear for a few months then return to her in a miraculous way, and then disappear again. I have a hacky sack that works the same way.
ie: I lost it at a Dave Matthews concert and 2 years later found it in my car, the car that I had bought a few months before finding said Hack.
These are the stories I think about when ever I lose a gray t-shirt. I have had 4 baby t's that I have loved in my lifetime and every time I get one, it is gone within 2 weeks. I have just replaced my last love and now the replacement waited just long enough for me to have deep felt feelings for it, and then the new one flew the coup too. So I am thinking about what I need for Christmas and I figure if I lose a shirt on average every 3 weeks, that means I need about 18 friends to buy me a simple gray baby T to get me through 2005 with all the love I need. The problem with this is that this means I need to make 15 more friends. Anyone wanting to join the "Marci Friend List" is welcome to. I wear a size S or M depending on how good you want me to look in the shirt. It would also be nice of you to have a small conversation with the shirt about how much he is going to mean to me and how happy of a home I will give it, and that running away should not be an option. Thanks.
On Thanksgiving, I was going through my phone and sending a bunch of people a "Happy thanks Day" text when I came across 'Jason'. I was in the car with Lurker Boy and asked him who Jason was and why his number was in my phone. LB didn't know and that makes sense becuase it is hard to pick up guys when an ex is with you. So I wondered for about 1.58349 minutes and moved on with my much more interesting life.
Tonight I was sitting at my Local Bar
and I look up at the bar and I see a guy there and it all comes full circle. The half balding guy at the bar talking about how George bush is his hero, is a guy I met during my birthday week and apparently got his number and I remember that his name is Jason. My memory kicks ass.... And now there is one extra spot for numbers in my phone.
I really need to stop talking to losers. I need a sign that says "Can't worship Bush to ride this ride".
*I guess people would think I was a drag queen with that sign, so ignore the last line.*
Just for the record I AM NOT DYING ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!
This is us in New Orleans right after Deuce and I finished fighting about who would die first. I won, therefore he will be there while I die. Look how happy this makes makes him.
Which brings me to my point:
Dear Boys of the world,
Don't show up at a girls house in the middle of the night, especially when you have been involved with her for almost 7 years and tell her (with a straight face):
"nothing will ever work out between us because you are too free spirited and will most likely die alone because of it".
This might hurt her feelings and if you are not concerned about her feelings, you might care about the swift kick to the nuts. Yea it is true that even "laid back, free spirited" girls can occasionally get pissed.
Just trying to help you out,
damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn
Please be smarter next time,