{Subliminal Silence}
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is, it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
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1.31.2005

I had the BEST WEEKEND EVER!

~I got locked in my apartment from the ice storm because I moved into an apartment that has a huge hill to get in and out.

~I ran out of beer and had to walk down said hill while falling on my ass 3 times and sliding down the hill standing up 4 times.

~ I played drinking games all weekend.

~ For some reason Melanie and I thought rabbit stew would be fun.... ***this is probably the worst idea we have ever had**** While it was cooking the smell of vomit filled the apartment that we were trapped in.... I still don't know if the stew really smelled that bad or if Melanie REALLY did gag at the look of it. Also it was all we had to eat in our apartment so we had to suck it up and eat it.

~I woke up to the ice melting away and decided to leave and get out for awhile after being locked in all weekend and realized that someone admired my car radio SO much that they knocked my window out to get it.


1.27.2005

Things that suck:

~ suicidal clients
~ having to rush to class from work
~ my boring Thursday class
~ having to rush to my boring Thursday class while I am trying to talk to a suicidal client.
~ getting stuck in traffic after class when I should be at home and running to free beer
~ Having to take a 3 minute shower so I can get to free beer
~ getting stuck in traffic and only having time for a 1 minute shower
~ getting home and realizing I have no water
~ goign to free beer with "the homeless" on me
~ having all your friends run late too
~ driving yourself to free beer, drinking a shit load and then having to drive by Braille home.

Hope you all had a GREAT day too!

1.25.2005

JOB AND A MIDGET

Today has made the top 5 of my favorite days of my life.....

I had decided today was the day that I was going to sit down in the directors office to lay it down for him that my internship was ending and i was going to be looking for employment. I have been stressing this since I very badly want to be hired on where I work now. I went in this morning and sat down and started ...

"I will be done in March and wanted to give you a heads up to fill the position in the next month because I will be seeking post grad employment but I need you to know you all have first dibs on me..."

He cut me off and said "why are you seeking employment, do you really think that we are going to let you go? I already have a position waiting on you to finish your internship"

F'KING WHOO F'NING HOO!!!!!

Then to top that off, while I was doing intake today someone called me and said "I am an addict in search of a program...." He went on with the same shpeel everyone gives and then he said "will it matter that I am ............

------I swear to all that is good this really happened-----

that I am a little person"

OMG TODAY ROCKS MY FACE OFF..... A job AND a midget!!!.... are you kidding me!!!????!!!!!
Is the page fixed for those of you useing FireFox????

Anyone?
Bueller?

1.23.2005

THIS MEANS WAR!!!

I thought I was all smooth by swapping out the puffy toilet seat with Deuces toilet. I thought he would be too lazy to retaliate or maybe that he loved me too much to hold it against me. I was wrong! Apparently, he hates puffy toilets as much as I do.

This weekend we had everyone we know over for a party. Sure that is only like 10 people, but that is a lot to us. All night long I was telling the girlfriends of all my guy friends, that I don't know too well, to use my bathroom since it was cleaner in a gesture to be a good host. Towards the end of the night I went in my bathroom and on the counter, IN PLAIN SITE ALL BY ITSELF, was the Silicone Duo Wireless Couples Kit. This is pretty much a vibrating cock ring, and every one here had gone in and seen it. This must have looked fantastic to everyone there that didn't know me all that well.

THE WAR IS ON MY FRIEND!!!!

1.21.2005

ONE PERSONS COMPLIMENT IS ANOTHERS INSULT

Last night while sitting with a friend he says"Damn your hot", and I replied "and DAMN you sane". I think he was looking for another reply since he stared at me for a good 30 seconds with the "what the hell does that mean" look on his face. I wish people appreciated the development of sanity.

1.20.2005

I moved over the weekend into my new huge apartment. It is pretty cool besides the fact that I am used to my studio where I can see everyone at any time, and now I get all lonely when I go to my room, and I also get separation anxiety when I come out of the kitchen and Deuce is not there. He will get up to go to his room and I freak out that he has died, but I am sure I will get used to that.

The roommate war has also already begun. When we moved in there was a puffy toilet seat on my toilet. I think puffy Toilet seats are the most disgusting thing ever. There are like little foam circles that catch everyone's ass germs and stores them. So while Deuce was at work I stealthily swapped out the toilet seats. It took him 2 days to come running out of his bathroom laughing his ass off. I asked what was wrong and he said "The weirdest thing just happened, I sat down on the toilet and it went 'ffssshhhh'". The best thing about him is that he didn't even want to swap it back, he wants to somehow sneak into Melanie's apartment a switch hers.

1.19.2005

I understand text messaging better than most. I totally get the fact that it is to be used when you don't really want to talk to someone but you have something you need to tell them, or when you are Nazi with your daytime minutes and it is not yet 9pm, or when you have called someone 8 times in one day and think calling again makes you desperate, or when sitting in class and texting friends to keep your mind off how bored you are, or to embarrass boys when they are in business meetings by sending them dirty sexual texts.

I also understand that text messaging is NOT for MOTHER-FUCKING-CRAZY-PSYCHOTIC-ASSHOLES who have said the meanest things in a psychotic episode and then a week later send a text that says "Angry sex?"


1.14.2005

I woke up this morning horrified by a dream I had that I had actually been in heart with a sociopath for 6 years. Sociopath as in MOTHER- FUCKING- CRAZY- ASSHOLE- THAT- COULD- TRY- TO- KILL- ME- AND- IT- NOT- SHOCK- ME- OR- ANYONE- I- KNOW- SINCE- HE- IS- MOTHER- FUCKING- CRAZY- AND- PROBABLY- PLANNING- TO- DO- SO- AS -I -TYPE.

Listen up ladies, when a guy lies to you about what country he is in (when he is in Marietta, GA the whole time), and what he does for a living, it is a little more like Scott Peterson than you will be comfortable with. And then when it comes down to you saying "HI" to him and he fucking blows up and tells you what a horrible person you are and that YOU are the one that is not stable, do not... do not.... do not.... Laugh at him. I promise that this turns out badly.

This is good advice, that and never sit on the seat in a porto potty.


1.12.2005

Death Part 2
I ended up going out with the New Years Boy that is holding my tiara captive, only he didn't bring my tiara on the date. Now he won't give me my tiara back because I accidentally invited the 22 year old, Lurker Boy, and THE BOY on our date. Yea the math is right, that would be my 3 most recent ex-boyfriends. I don't know why he is upset about it, I think that proves that I have cahones. I didn't even realize what was going on at the time, but then across the table, Lurker boy sent me a text message that said "Do you just need the attention or do you like all your boyfriends to be friends?". That is when I looked at New Years Boy and realized that the tiara might be gone forever.
The tale of the Relapse Cheescake

My clients love me. All the men, as it turns out, fight over who the best cook is. They always say that they are going to bring me some home cooking, because they are sweet and tell me that I need meat on my bones. I think the crack still has them seeing skinny, but anyway, today a client told me he was going to make me a "Margarita Cheesecake". I looked at him like he was kidding and he says "Marci the alcohol cooks out". I informed him that to make the cake he would have to get tequila in the apartment to cook with and since he is an alcoholic I need to point out that it might not be a good idea to make me a Relapse Cheesecake. He didn't get it.

Moral of the story: When face with the dilemma, I am wanting a margaritta cheesecake so bad that I am wondering how bad it would be to loose just one client. I am a kick ass counselor!

1.04.2005

The best compliment of my life


Client: Marci, how the hell you so flexible?
Me: What are you taking about man?
Client: You run around this place, run it almost alone, you deal with all of us coming up to you every 5 seconds needing stuff, you can change you dialogue for each client, you smile at some of us, and yell at others, AND your a student.
Me: I guess I like to be busy, you know if you stayed this busy you wouldn't have time to smoke "the crack".
Client: Calm down Marci, I am just saying that you are the girl that all black guys dream of.
Me: what's that?
Client: a white girl that could hold her own in the hood.

Apparently, they all think I am a lot tougher than I am, or they think I am a total Butch type.

1.02.2005

GOODBYE GOOD FRIEND....I'LL SEE YOU IN HEAVEN

R.I.P.
Friend, confidant, and all around great tiara
You brought happines to many.
October 31, 2003- Jan. 1, 2005


New Year's started off with deuce, Mel, Dave and I waiting on our other party goers. This was wrong on many levels, but mostly because we are to pretty to be kept waiting.

We went out to the Leopard Lounge and started taking shots immediately. Life ws good until Shawna showed up with two Latvian girls, one of which was HUGE and had this weird talent of body slamming everyone in her path, earning her the title "Big, Scary Latvian Girl".

There she is on the right, her friend was ok but, it is hard to look all that bad when your friend is beating all my friends up. She also wasn't as big and maybe a little better looking, not much (this is the best picture she has ever taken, I need to send it to her). She did steal my New Year's Boyfrined but that turned out ok since he doesn't really like me anyway. There was one point she took my friend John and I think she thought she was dancing but in actuality she was hurting the poor guy, and I swear there was a point where he was thrown 10 feet into the air, but i can not be certain.
We were able to keep our good spirit when ever she went to get a drink as noted in the photo below.

Then at 11:30, Shawna and I went scouting men for a midnight kiss, but all we came up with were 15 gay men that didn't want to swing to the straight side for even 2 minutes. The perks of hanging out in midtown. So when midnight hit I was all by myself and not making out with any guy. I do think I made out with Shawna and some guy named Frank but I am not too certain about all that.

Then Deuce came over to me and we were talking when the girl on his arm yells "YOU ARE FREAKING HILARIOUS, YOU NEED TO MEET MY FRIEND". She dragged me downstairs and introduced me to a stranger, and left me. I am not sure when we started making out or even if we did.....

It seems that looking at the picture I was making out with him, but a closer look reveals me laughing at him while he is all into it....

Whatever I did I think Melanie was embarressed by it.
This is around the point when Shawna comes running out of the bar to tell us the Big Scary Latvian Girl is on the floor in the men's bathroom. I guess the bathroom attendant was pretty scared of her too, because he let her lay in all the piss for a very long time. When shawna told us this horrible news, I think Melanie and I replied "dude that sucks, let's go do shots".

A little after that around 2 or 3am we decided to head home and went out to find a cab. I was still with the random strange guy and after walking a bit for a cab he says that he lives down the street, so I say "OKAY" and turn around and ditch my friends. Melanie was the only one upset, and started yelling at all our friends that if they ever let her walk away with a stranger she would kill them. They should have all been upset though, since as soon as i turned the corner out of everyone's view.... I ATE IT. I busted my ass pretty bad in the middle of 12th Street and the stranger had to help me up. There is nothing hotter than a girl in a skirt falling in the street. I thought I was ok and continued on. We got to his place and I was on his couch when his roommate walked in and asked "who's the chick bleeding all over our couch?" Turns out i wasn't ok. I said "Marci" and looked at my knee which was all kinds of bloody. SHOOO! I went to sleep there without getting any booty.

Turns out at this same time, Deuce was dropped off at my place and he stood on the porch for 40 minutes looking in the window at his keys that were laying on my couch. This would also be my fault..... He has a key to my apartment but I told him to leave his keys, because he is prone to loosing them. Somehow he squeezed his body into my second story bathroom window. He is amazing like that.

I woke up and came home and went to Mel's where there were people sleeping everywhere and talked about the night. This is the part where I realized that ......

****cue sadness drums*****
I LEFT MY TIARA AT THE STRANGERS HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!
My tiara is my most prize possession, and now it is gone. I am very very upset about it.
Anyway, Happy New Year's everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!