{Subliminal Silence}
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is, it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
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2.21.2005

SAD SAD DAY

This is ALMOST as sad as the day my tiara died.

2.20.2005

Friday night I went to an after hours party at one of my free beer breweries. Because I am hard core, I also went to free beer for 2 hours before the party. It seemed like a pretty chill time until I started looking back on the chaos of the evening Sat. Morning.

#1 a friend was there mixing half beer and half diet coke and drinking it ALL NIGHT LONG
#2 I got pinned against a secluded corner with a stranger at which point the stranger started trying to make out with me.
#3 I finally talked to my Friday night secret boyfriend and told him he was my secret boyfriend.
#4 Said stranger ended up trying to get up on me again later and my totally chill roommate bowed up and said "hey man I will punch you in the fucking face" (this is still so funny to me... this was the first time I have ever seen him be tough.... it was cute) which let to this exchange:
Him: I will kick the shit out of your friend
Me: man that would really blow becuase none of our other friends are here so I would have to jump in and kick your ass, and to tell you the truth I am too pretty for all that so can you just chill.
Then he proceeded to fololow me to the bathroom and stalk me all night long.
#5 Said secret boyfriend looked all cute .... RIGHT BEFORE he showed me his wedding ring. (I really have to get better at looking for those). He promised I would be his secret girlfriend though, so I guess that works out fine.
#6 said friend with Diet coke came back with us so he didn't have to drive and slept on my floor for intervals of 5 minutes between puking all night.

It is maybe a little sad that this is ALL I have to show for the last 3 days of my life.

2.18.2005

Bush's best quote over:

"I touched it in 2002, I touched it in 2004, and I touched it at the state of the union."
PROBLEM?

I love where I work and they are planning on hiring me. That is the good news. Yesterday the director of another place came by to drop off an addict and said he needed to talk to me. Turns out in dealing with him and all the counselors that he employs, word got around about how incredibly awesome I am and he wants to go to dinner and talk about a job. I was completely honest with him and told him how happy I was where I am and that I might be getting hired on here, but I would definitely be looking at some other options. He took that time to be completely honest with ME, and told me that he had heard a rumor that yet another facility was wanting me and he was wanting to nab me before they got ahold of me.

This means that I get to start a bidding war between 3 places. Why do all these people talk about it being hard to fid a job after graduation when I am 2 months away and not even doing anything and people are still calling me. Looks like I will be working before graduation and I will be making decent money for someone newly licensed. I am SO excited about not being poor anymore.

2.15.2005

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A SUBSTANCE ABUSE COUNSELOR

I feel like I don't share my days with you all anymore.... so I figure I will bitch share today.

My job consist of talking to drug addicts and helping then figure out why "crack is whack" (thanks Whitney). I also am responsible for making any referrals, dealing with crisis', and getting and screening new clients for intake. After I find and screen them I am also responsible to be there best friend on intake day and make them feel ok about being there and do orientation with them. Lately the beds have emptied a bit so I have had a lot of work to do. I was to have 11 people come in today and this is exciting. So I get to work and 3 guys show up and fail the drug test.

Me: when was the last time you used?
Client #1: 5 years ago.
Me: don't bullshit me
Client #1: 2 days ago.
Client #2: last week
Client #3: this morning
Me: well I told you all you needed to pass a test to get in, let me find a shelter that might take you.
Client #2: This is bullshit, you didn't tell me that.
Me: first... yes i did, 2nd you should have known coming for recovery you needed to be clean.

*disclaimer... if you have a weak stomach skip this paragraph*
So after that happens a woman shows up. she has a big tummy and passes her drug test however, her piss is gross orange color. So I am thinking she has a nasty infection. She then tells me she thinks she might be pregnant. I do a pregnancy test on her since I need to turn her away if she is, and it comes up negative. I ask her how pregnant she thinks she is and she says 1.5 months. I look at her belly and she looks like she might be 7 months and then she says "my doctor told me I have a tumor, but I haven't had my period in 3 months so I think I am pregnant" HOLY SHIT... This woman had a tumor the size of a small child in her. BELIEVE YOUR DOCTOR WOMAN!!. So on top of all that she smells like fish , literally, and has the whole lobby smelling. I referred her on.

THEN....
a cab pulls up and the woman falls out of it. I am looking out the window and see her stumble up. YOU HAVE SERIOUSLY GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! I walk out to stop her from coming in.

Me: hi, how are you?
Her: not so good *bust into tears*
Me: You've been drinking so I can't take you.
Her: no i haven't
Me: yea you have and I bet i can even call that you have been drinking whiskey.
Her: ok but they took my daughter away.
Me: Do you think you are in a position to take care of her they way you should right now?

this is the point where she took a swing at me, only she is so drunk she missed by a foot and fell down. I helped her up and talked her into letting me call someone to get her. I referred her on to the hospital.

All this happened in the span of 2 hours, which means that it only took two hours for me to realize I could never drink whiskey of eat fish again.

Hope you al had a great day too.

This is not the part of the conversation you want your boss walking in on:

Client: So was the guy you jumped tandem with cool.

*enter boss*

Me: yea, he seemed really cool, I got to talk to him for about 5 minutes before he strapped him self to my back.

Boss: Wow, you that easy Marci?

2.14.2005

So I am alive.... No grotesque pictures from Melanie, Sorry.

Sky Diving has to be the best thing in the entire world..... Anything that let's you wear a cool hat, a fun bright blue jump suit, takes you up 14,000 feet, in a cool little plane, has you attached at the groin of a hot guy and lets you fall into a great looking picture is alright with me. It is pretty scary how easy it was to jump out of a plane. Seriously, I should have been at least a little freaked out by it but I was ready to hurl myself out before we were even at 14,000 feet. People say it is all scary up in the plane, but really the world so surreal from that height that it is pretty cool going out into it. AND I totally got the hottest guy in the place..... his name was Joey, he was also nice.... ie, I asked him if he would be pissed if i accidentally pissed on him, or vomited, and he said he would be pissed but he would have to get over it. He was a swell guy.

I got kinda hosed on the jump order and ended up in a different plane than everyone I went with. They were all done and inside changing by the time I jumped. But the cool thing about this is I got to hear all the jump masters in my plane talk about "the group before this one". Some of the people I went with were total pansies. After the chute is pulled you have to stand on the guys feet to get readjusted in the harness (or as I like to think of it as "rubbing all up on Joey"). One guy I was with thought the guy was trying to let him loose during this part and wigged out about it and started flailing all around. I bet he might have left that out of his story.

The only thing that sucks now is there is nothing for me to loo forward to anymore.... all i have going for me know is 3 exams, 2 term papers, graduation and a 12 hour licensing exam. He who said the fun never ends, lied.

2.12.2005

Dear friends ,

Today I am plummeting to Earth. If the hot guy on my back (that's right there are only two girls going and I am the only single one so I call the hottest guy) doesn't pull the cord, and my parachute does not come out, this will be my last post. Melanie is instructed to let everyone know. (We have a secret game where we have hidden our passwords for everything and a note with what items need to be removed from our house before our parents come to take care of clearing it out). Also she is going to take pictures. If something happens, I will make sure she knows to post the picts of my death, cause I think that would be a cool last post. I am not down with the bloggers that just disappear for ever, my promise to you all is closure.

Don't get me wrong I don't think I am going to die (unless you can die of utter excitment) and I really could care less if it happened, this would be an awesome way to go and I am wearing clean underwear that match my knee high striped socks so I don't need to be embarrassed on the other side.

Holla,
Marci

2.10.2005

I was informed yesterday that if I proceed with my weekend plans, that I could be fired. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!

For some reason my boss loves me, and thinks that jumping out of a plane might be dangerous. He seems to think that I am going to die and then there would be no one as good as me to do my job. He kept running in and telling me horrible stories of people that have died and SEVERLY disfigured there face. Then when I went to leave yesterday, I asked if he needed anything before I went back to the world of noN-homeless, and he said "yea, I need you to reconsider skydiving, and you need to know your job is on the line with this".

He speaks such craziness!

Any way...
I'M GOING SKYDIVING!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. let me know if anyone is hiring a substance abuse counsler.

2.07.2005

Bert is all better... He has a brand new shiny window....(which I am scared to tell him looks funny since... You know... It is clean) and a brand new shiny radio. His self esteem is back up to the confident cutie I remember.

I have been so busy stalking my new Mama Nikki's pizza driver stopping homeless addicts from committing suicide that I have not had much time for much else.... However here is a list of what has fit into to my schedule due to the sheer importance of it:

~ renting "One Night in Chyna" at 1am ... the bitch totally has a penis, I am not talking extended labia here, I am saying there is a real penis.

~ Playing in a new park Mel and I discover in our 'hood. Slides, swings, puppies, soccer, AND seesaw... even though Melanie almost vomits on the seesaw

~ Having a dance war that ended with me trying a cool new move I was so excited about that actually could not fight gravity, ending with me on my ass and Melanie screaming "I TOTALLY KICKED YOUR ASS"



2.01.2005

Dear Ass Hole who stole my radio,

I thought it really sucked when I saw the broken window and lack of radio and the thought of Bert being touch by a stranger seemed like the worse it could get. It turns out it sucks even worse that I have to drive all around without a radio due to the fact that my mind won't stop thinking long enough to get me home unless there is constant noise, so I end up forgetting that I am driving and almost wreck Bert every few minutes. It sucks even worse that I am too poor to get it replaced. It also sucks EVEN more that I look all white trash rolling down the road with cardboard in my window. I don't think you fully thought through how this would affect Bert's self esteem. I would appreciate it if you put more thought in to your career of choice and maybe target cars with a little bit better quality than my $85 radio.

Die,
Marci

PS you forgot to take the remote for the radio. I will leave it on the sidewalk for you.