{Subliminal Silence}
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is, it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
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2.15.2005

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A SUBSTANCE ABUSE COUNSELOR

I feel like I don't share my days with you all anymore.... so I figure I will bitch share today.

My job consist of talking to drug addicts and helping then figure out why "crack is whack" (thanks Whitney). I also am responsible for making any referrals, dealing with crisis', and getting and screening new clients for intake. After I find and screen them I am also responsible to be there best friend on intake day and make them feel ok about being there and do orientation with them. Lately the beds have emptied a bit so I have had a lot of work to do. I was to have 11 people come in today and this is exciting. So I get to work and 3 guys show up and fail the drug test.

Me: when was the last time you used?
Client #1: 5 years ago.
Me: don't bullshit me
Client #1: 2 days ago.
Client #2: last week
Client #3: this morning
Me: well I told you all you needed to pass a test to get in, let me find a shelter that might take you.
Client #2: This is bullshit, you didn't tell me that.
Me: first... yes i did, 2nd you should have known coming for recovery you needed to be clean.

*disclaimer... if you have a weak stomach skip this paragraph*
So after that happens a woman shows up. she has a big tummy and passes her drug test however, her piss is gross orange color. So I am thinking she has a nasty infection. She then tells me she thinks she might be pregnant. I do a pregnancy test on her since I need to turn her away if she is, and it comes up negative. I ask her how pregnant she thinks she is and she says 1.5 months. I look at her belly and she looks like she might be 7 months and then she says "my doctor told me I have a tumor, but I haven't had my period in 3 months so I think I am pregnant" HOLY SHIT... This woman had a tumor the size of a small child in her. BELIEVE YOUR DOCTOR WOMAN!!. So on top of all that she smells like fish , literally, and has the whole lobby smelling. I referred her on.

THEN....
a cab pulls up and the woman falls out of it. I am looking out the window and see her stumble up. YOU HAVE SERIOUSLY GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! I walk out to stop her from coming in.

Me: hi, how are you?
Her: not so good *bust into tears*
Me: You've been drinking so I can't take you.
Her: no i haven't
Me: yea you have and I bet i can even call that you have been drinking whiskey.
Her: ok but they took my daughter away.
Me: Do you think you are in a position to take care of her they way you should right now?

this is the point where she took a swing at me, only she is so drunk she missed by a foot and fell down. I helped her up and talked her into letting me call someone to get her. I referred her on to the hospital.

All this happened in the span of 2 hours, which means that it only took two hours for me to realize I could never drink whiskey of eat fish again.

Hope you al had a great day too.