{Subliminal Silence}
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is, it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
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4.25.2005

THE STORY ON HOW PORN KEPT ME OUT OF HANDCUFFS

This weekend I was driving to go meet someone for brunch when I got pulled over for speeding. My first thought was "Holy shit, my License expired last year and now I might have to give the cop a blow job to get out of this, and this is a VERY busy road, and that is going to be SO embarrassing" and then my second thought hit me while the cop was right at the window.... "Shit I was supposed to return this porn sitting in my passenger seat, and now it is in plain view of the cop".....

The cop asks for my ID and he looks around my car and then proceeds to ask all the questions to the DVD.... I still answered:
Cop: You know I can take you to jail.
Me: FOR HAVING PORN, THAT IS CRAZY! *yea I should think before I talk*
Cop: No, for having an expired license, technically you are driving with out a license now.
Me: No shit, those things expire, you have got to be kidding me.
(I figure the dumb horny girl act is my best course of action at this point)
Cop: do you have someone that can drive your car for you? If you can find someone to come get it I won't take you in
Me: *thinking for the best reply, while he is trying to make out the pictures on the back of the DVD* No I just moved here and I don't know anybody.
Cop: Well I suppose I can let you drive if you promise to drive straight home and park your car til you have a valid license.
Me: you are awesome, thank you, but will it be ok if I return my video first?
Cop: *walks away after handing me 3 tickets*

Yep, I think this means things are getting back to normal.