A story has been asked for:
The Crying Blubbering Idiot That Never Should Have Been
I dated a guy we will call him... Paul (I swear that is an alias, hehe). Well it ended up that Paul and I and my old roommate all moved in together. We lived in a one room apt. and often had people over hanging out. Let me tell you a bit about Paul. First, I will say he tried his best. With that said, he was not working with the same FULL deck most of us work with. He often got confused as to which side of the faucet was hot, even though that is pretty universal. He is the same guy that drove a Ryder truck into the Local CVS. YES I SAID INTO. He is the same guy that would call me 20 times a day when I started a new job, that made me look good (not nearly as good as the fact I admitted to dating this guy). He would also say the dumbest things I have ever heard. Worse than "If it wasn't for that horse I would have gotten through college". In fact he never got through college. He drove piazza's. As in Dominos... and I suspect he will do this the rest of his life. You know when you open the door and that 80 year old man is there with your dinner, that will be Paul. Thing is, Paul liked me A LOT. More than normal.
so anyway, one night we had about 8 people in the apt. and as it turned out I was having a good time. Well Paul did not know some of the people and they were all good friends of mine, and I guess he was not getting the attention he wanted. He got all pouty and said he was going to bed. I was all for it because he was already acting like a pouty 3 yr old in front of my friends, and I figured I would deal with his attitude the next day. So he asked if I was coming. I said "No Paul, I am having fun and am not tired." So he goes into the room and then all the sudden the light goes out and we all hear this noise. We have no clue what it is so my friend Brad goes up to the door and says "hey Paul, what are you laughing at". Brad got this horrified look on his face and backed up from the door slowly and said in a whisper "OMG he is crying". We had thought he was laughing really hard. But no, it turned out he was whaling. Gut wrenching whaling. Like a Greek mother at a funeral. I was so mortified by this I could do nothing but laugh. Now it did not help the situation that every one followed my lead in the laughter. For the next hour we were all laughing to the point of non breathing and having to hold it in until we all got outside across the parking lot to let it out. The noise he made that night , is still so funny to me. And only the people there, and maybe the neighbors, can understand how incredibly pathetic it was.
And the only reason he was crying is because I would not go to bed at the same time he would. If I had been him I would have made up a better excuse for the display while I laid awake embarrassed as hell all night.
To this day Melanie and I still use this sound effect when we utter his name.
WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING? Oh wait, i know the answer to that. But whoever said that is all a relationship needs was not doing it with a stupid guy.
