I AM ALIVE!

My mom is infamous for sending me packages of a bush a weird stuff, so I guess since she was coming here she brought it with her. First I have been wanting fun slippers for awhile now and my mother shows up with monkey slippers. How fantastic, I expressed joy and then she says "they belonged to my friend that committed suicide and they are too big for me". NICE MOM! Now I am the owner of a dead woman's monkey slippers. I made a few comments about receiving dead woman shoes and my mother thinks I have no heart, however my father seemed pretty amused.

Then there is a strip club right at the exit of the interstate and the marquee right now says "SUPPORT BUSH". Ok I think all of us know that they are not talking about running to the poles (hahah I didn't realize how funny that was til I typed it) and voting in the next election. But my parents are a little sheltered on slang terms for vagina, so my dad (who hates Bush, George, wanted a picture of it to show that the only ones that might support bush is a strip club. I did not have the heart to inform him that they were being dirty with their sign. Maybe I should have, because it is possible that he is going to repeat this story to someone who does get it.

And just to top it off, at lunch my mom starts talking about religion, a subject that I avoid with her because we disagree on the matter. So my dad jumped on my side and we debated and then my mom informed me that he only disagrees like this when I am there. So once again I am the reason that they fight. Only they did not really fight, my dad laughed and the more upset my mom got the more humor he found. That is why my dad kicks ass.

Some notable phrases: "I really hope you don't pay too much for this place"....."I hope you carry mace with you in this neighborhood".... "Do you realize how much money in art and furniture you have in this little tiny place" (said condescendingly about how much of my dad's work I now have)

All in all, not too bad.