Dear Professor,

I am old enough to have my priorities straight, and it looks as though you got the shaft. Sorry about this, but I will not have my stuff turned in today because I wanted beer last night, and felt that would be more condusive to my happiness than doing a write up on an AIDS patient. Sorry if you feel left out of my life because of this, but you really have been taking up a lot of my time lately, and people are going to think there is more going on with us. You really do need to lay a off a little, or maybe put out every now and then. Also, don't even think about messing with my grade, I am sure we can work something out *wink wink*

Your responsible beer princess,
Marci