Dear any of the 40 people that were sitting outside on the patio at Fellini's last night,

I am so sorry that me and my friends disturbed you. Yes, our conversation got a little crude, and you probably were not concerned about who Drew wanted to "f*ck in the eye hole" or with how he "wanted to bang Martha Stewart in the *** in front of a mirror so she could see herself cry". Please understand that we had quite a bit of alcohol and this is what sometimes happens.

I do hope you accepted our gesture of good faith when Drew tried to jump on my back for a piggy back ride and toppled us both to the ground, causing a sound that could only be the bone fragments in my knee breaking off. Some of you gasped and waited for us to stand up so you could clap, some of you looked away and pretended not to see, and some of you looked at your friends and talked about what idiots we were, but I know deep down you were all quite entertained by the show. My knee however, is not so happy with me judging by the tennis ball size of my now black knee.

It was nice meeting you all, and I hope to bust my ass in front of all of you again someday.

Cheers,
Marci