HELL
"students will abstain, for a complete 14 days, from any mood altering substance, including caffeine in any form, alcohol, sugar, narcotics, stimulants (including nicotine), chocolate, and/or marijuana. Self identified compulsive behaviors are also to be eliminated for 2 weeks. Students will keep an intensive daily log of struggles, physical reactions, sleep changes, and feelings."
This starts next Wednesday. How fantastic that I am going to my sisters wedding this week and have to miss free beer, and now I will be missing it for another 2 weeks. On top of that I have to go to work for 10 of those days and have homeless addicts blow smoke in my face for 5 hours at a time. I think I might be keeping a journal here too, one that will most likely mirror my class journal. Here is what I imagine it will say for everyone of the 14 days.
"Dr. ***, you are ruining my fucking life. If you were not so attractive I would tell you to die, instead I will just walk my bitchy ass to your office at every free moment I have and hang out with you so that you can enjoy my attitude as much as I am enjoying your little assignment."
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Tomorrow I fly to VA to my sisters wedding. Most of you don't know the kind of family I have but I am promising story after story on Sunday. First off, it is an outside wedding on the coast in the middle of hurricane season. Second, my parents are a
little less than happy about the wedding and are not afraid to state their piece to anyone. Third, I am wearing a seafoam green dress. Fourth, there will be alcohol, which normally is great BUT if my mom drinks one glass of wine she will become the private person my sister and I know in public, this can only lead to things I like to call
"You want to kill yourself since your mom is so mean" "Please let me find the humor fast" moments.
My grandfather, who is not able to make it to the wedding, called me and he senses that something bad might happen as well, and said "I know your sister will back down to please people, but I have never seen you back down with your parents so you need to promise me that you will be there at all times to stop anything before it starts, so your sister can have a good day." I guess I have been assigned the family referee. Too bad my priority is avoiding the fam and getting drunk and finding a groomsmen to have my way with. I am the maid of honor after all.
