THE SADDEST DAY IN HISTORY
So last week I show up to free beer, and as most of you know i am so poor because the government is out to get me and trying to steal my student loan and free beer is the only thing I have to live for, and it was cancelled. Immediately the phone starts ringing with people spreading some vicious rumor that Dogwood is going bankrupt. After a week of thinking about it, that seemed crazy, after all they know that they are my only happiness and surely they would not do this to me, and they also just made their new 10% Bradywine beer, and there stuff is in every bar I go to. So today I decide I am going to ignore the rumors and show up with my mug and drink the beer. Me and Deuce are driving there (
side note: you all don't know much about Deuce but he is one of my best friends and I think we spend at least 100 of the 168 hours a week together. We are almost one in the same person and you know I am cool as sh*t so you know he is too. If it wasn't for Dogwood, we would have never met the night he came stumbling into my apartment complex and asked me for smoke, and we would have never sat and talked in a drunken stupor and we would never have thought to get in a car the next day and go to a concert with a stranger) so anyway, we are driving there and as we get close I notice that we are not breathing.... It is really that bad. So our fingers are crossed and we ull around and there are only cars turning around and leaving. So I get out to read the sign on the door, hoping it says "Sorry marci, we went to a Dead show, see you next week"... but no.... it said
(I might cry while typing this)
"NO TOUR TONIGHT, THANK YOU ATLANTA FOR 8 GREAT YEARS"
So if anyone is looking for me I will be fetal position in my closet for the next few days while I mourn the loss of everything I had to live for.
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Conversation after "no beer":
Deuce: what do we do?
Me: I am not opposed to dying, what else do we have to do?
Deuce: Yea that's cool, we are not virgins
Me: neither of us ever get laid anyway, so there really isn't much to live for either.
Yes it really is that bad.
