I'VE HEARD IT ALL
Scene: Hall way outside bathroom looking at the failed drug test
Me: When was the last time you used?
Potential Client: Last September
Me: No really, tell me the truth.
PT: no really I have stayed clean a long time
Me: well that is funny since you have coke in your system.
PT: how in the hell is that possible?
Me: well, let's see, I guess that is possible if you used in the past 3-5 days.
PT: That is impossible.
Me: well I am not gonna argue with you, I can't accept you with a dirty screen
PT: WAIT A MINUTE, KNOW WHAT IT IS! I hired a prostitute last night, and she sucked my dick, do you think that I got high from that crack whore?
Me: well did you share a pipe with her?
PT: No I think she got it in my system while she was sucking my dick.

Me: *laugh out loud while holding the door open for him to leave, and then walk away thinking about how much I love my job.*

*dim lights*